Heeeeeeeey Friend!!! I missed you. It’s been two weeks since my last post and I’m so happy to be back. I intentionally did not post because I was exhausted. Between the day job and finals in school, I was burning the candle at both ends and did not have enough to give to anything else. I started to feel overwhelmed, and exhausted, I knew it was time for a break, and I took 5 days off for the holiday. I feel much better. It’s interesting how we just got out of wellness month, and it feels like I could not focus intentionally on my wellness outside the past few days. I almost feel like a contradiction, however, I am aware that life sometimes life’s the way it wants to, and I don’t always have control. I am proud of myself for recognizing I needed to step away and making it happen.
As I get back into the swing of things I have been reflecting on what I’m feeling emotionally and where I am mentally. Overall, I am drained. I’m exerting so much energy on my day job and school that I'm not allowing myself the space/time to give my business what it needs. Some days I feel like I need to focus on finishing school while working and slowly building up Im Not Human Im Perfect, and other days I’m frustrated. I’m also over being in NC. The environment is tough to navigate because I feel like the people, I interact with are complacent, and if they aren’t they do a lot of complaining with no action and that’s starting to affect me. I don’t always have the energy to keep myself motivated and it’s tough not having a solid circle to lean on.
My environment has been a huge factor impacting my mental and emotional well-being and I know it’s time to re-align myself. The rollercoaster of emotions I have been experiencing as a business owner is nothing short of a WTF situation. With so many important responsibilities, I sometimes don’t know which way to go. I realize part of my occasional indecision comes from not properly planning or being strategic enough in my planning. I tend to suffer from paralysis by analysis. I gather so much information and then don’t know the first move for fear of making the wrong one.
To overcome this, I have decided to start slow. School started back and it’s a completely different workload, and my job will remain hectic indefinitely. This month I will give myself time to adjust to the new course load and take more time to plan at work. We are in Q4, and these last few months of the year are pivotal for me. If I’m going to reach my goals next year, I know for sure that I need to work on and get better at strategy.
Today I was reminded that I am in a season of stillness. It sometimes feels like nothing is moving, yet every so often I am hit with a vision, feeling, or small win that confirms I am exactly where I need to be and going in the right direction. I’m grateful for the time I’ve had to reflect and reset. It’s given me renewed energy and motivation, and I’m excited about pushing myself to grow and be better for myself and my aspirations as I go into the new year.
Stick around to see where this goes. I’m just as curious.
Lata!